Southwestern Sales Talk
Last week, I posted a short blog about behavior and goals, and how they had to match in order for you to 
feel purposeful and feel like you were making progress. I received an interesting query from one of our Southwestern student managers regarding habits:
“Why do you suppose it’s so difficult to match one’s behavior and decisions to their goals? If life is all about habits, why is it so easy to form bad habits and so difficult to form good ones?”
Good stuff! Let me lob this out to the crowd before I proffer my thoughts…any ideas? Please comment.
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There are no such things as good habits and bad habits, there are just habits. Of course some are going to stimulate our production (whatever that is : art, sales, good grades) and they consist usually in hard work. Some others are going to make us fail because in essence they are mostly inaction (not doing the things successful people will do). Some so called bad habits are hard to form aswell, when I see the effort people make to start smoking, it does seem tough!
In fact habits are good if they help you achieve your goals and bad if they drag you down, the higher the goals the harder it will be to form success oriented habits. the lower the goal the easier it is to form habits : and these are going to drag you down.
It all starts in the head, the goals you set and how commited you are.
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Lee McCroskey Reply:
March 25th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Well put! One book I’d recommend is Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Great insights into the challenges of setting “good” habits–plus great info on roles & goals….
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Hard or not is in the mind.. The will controls the mind…. its in the mind…its hard when you force to do something but why not try enjoying those good habits…. i enjoy cold showers in the mornings now… it used to COLD!
Its our constitutional nature to serve and hence happy but in this materialistic world no matter how hard we serve we aren’t satisfies or happy since everything is temporary….. realise that we are just witnessing not the doer !
Gouranga
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If your goals are set high, it can be a challenge to reach, as it requires effort to develop the good habits it takes to meet them. Everyone tends to start with good intentions to reach their goals, but are not always mentally prepared to see it through when the challenges set in.
Bad habits, in turn, often require far less effort. Laziness enters the scenario and contributes to a less than strong push to focus and meet those goals.
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I’m with Anonymous. It’s mostly a lack of action that prevents us from reaching our goals not bad habits. Bryant Gumbelthe host of CBS’ morning show talked about man’s greatest obstacle. He said it’s humans ability to depress themselves, I think he is 100% correct. How many times do we talk ourselves out of doing something in the manner of depression?
For example:
“I really don’t understand what the teacher is talking about, I should ask a question. Wait no one else is asking questions, maybe they get it, I don’t want to sound dumb.”
Or something to that affect, I know I’m guilty of it.
Or how about “That guy/girl across the room is incredibly attractive, I should go talk to him/her. But what if they don’t like me? What if i make a fool of myself?”
Yet another case of lack of action.
Basically what I’m saying is the best habit to form is to just take action. Action cures fear and fear is what holds us back from our goals.
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Lee McCroskey Reply:
March 26th, 2009 at 8:58 am
(A lot of anonymity in these posts…). Good thoughts! If you go a step further in your example, “lack of action” might actually then stem from fear–As Dan Moore says in Sales School: “Do the thing you fear, and the death of that fear is certain!”
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Krishna Reply:
April 10th, 2009 at 10:38 am
Do what you fear and the fear will disappear.
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We learn from day one of being selected that it takes 21 days to form a habit. What is considered a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ habit to one person might be the opposite to another. I think that the reason people form habits, good or bad, is based on their level of discipline. For example if someone wants to start a habit of going to bed at 11 pm every night they have to be disciplined enough to go to bed even if there are still things left to do. Being disciplined effects the habits we make and how we go about living our lives.
Habits are also formed through the people we surround ourselves with. If we surround ourselves with people who build us up, healthier habits are more likely to be made. However the opposite is true as well. If we spend time with people who have ‘bad’ habits we are more likely to do those.
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Lee McCroskey Reply:
March 26th, 2009 at 9:37 am
Quite true–your comment about who you surround yourself with is key. I remember talking to my son about this a lot as he grew up and became more independent. In Proverbs, it says: “He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.” What a bonus! A Bible lesson!
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Dustin Hillis Reply:
April 1st, 2009 at 10:51 pm
You cannot go wrong with looking to Proverbs for some wisdom!
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IMHO, The real difference between “good” habits and “bad” habits is that bad habits tend to feel good in the moment, whereas good habits may not be as pleasing in the moment, but lead to pleasing results.
Based on short term thinking, I would rather go out and “party” with my friends, but I realize that long term, this would not help me hit my goals. I would definitely rather sleep in than get up to start work by 8AM. I would rather not approach that attractive girl (or that potential recruit, or the Mrs. J who lives in the mansion) because it might be uncomfortable in the moment.
However, in order to reach my goals, I may have to choose long term rewards over short term rewards.
Does anyone remember the study with the children and the marshmallows? http://www.sybervision.com/Discipline/marshmallow.htm
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Lee McCroskey Reply:
April 2nd, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Logan: great insights! This ties in a bit to the quotation we use in out student managers meetings: “The chief cause of failure in life is sacrificing what we want the most for what we want at the moment.” Same with long and short term thinking/rewards.
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Great point Logan! Actually these are all good points on hitting goals. Sacrifice what you want now for what you want most. Surround yourself with positive people. Take action now. Be a Jedi mind trick ninja with setting goals, etc. Wow!!! good stuff!
Why is it hard to match the behavior with the goal? Hmmm.
A massive goal is hard.
People don’t enjoy doing things that are hard.
Human nature tells us to focus on things that are easy and not painful.
In my humble opinion here is a 3 step program to cure you of your addiction of doing only things that your comfortable with and how to set goals that push you to the next level:
1. Don’t focus on the goal its self, rather why you are trying to reach your goal. (create a vision board)
2. Break your goal down into bite size pieces you can wrap your mind around doing everyday. (work goal periods all year long)
3. Focus on the activity it takes to reach your goal… not the result.
Results=Pressure / Activity=Unconditional Confidence
(For more on developing unconditional confidence check out- http://sellingthewaypeopleliketobuy.wordpress.com
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There’s nothing such as a good or bad habit.. We have the choice to choose this habit or that, and that determines the outcome.
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