Southwestern Sales Talk
I had the chance to share some ideas recently at Southwestern’s Great Recruiters Seminar, specifically in a workshop on communication strategies. One of the points I stressed to student managers was to teach new team members how to treat you, from the start.
First impressions are tricky. People make rapid assumptions about new acquaintances. Oftentimes, you can be mistaken about what you
see and hear from a Southwestern candidate or a recruit.
If you’re going to be working with someone you don’t know well, you need to manage the budding relationship, not just the first impression.
Let’s explore an example. If you’re following up with a new Southwestern team member and they show up late for the meeting, you have several options:
1) ignore the fact they’re 15 minutes late and proceed
2) when (if) they apologize, say, “Oh, it’s no big deal.”
3) Confront them politely.
Early on in my Southwestern recruiting career, I would have opted for #2. I valued the team member liking me above our business relationship. If you pursue ignoring or excusing behavior you don’t appreciate, expect more of it. When I said, “Don’t worry, it’s no big deal,” I was teaching that person how to treat me in the future. I was unconsciously teaching them my time was not valuable. Once I chose this interpersonal route, I couldn’t then be upset if they showed up late for other follow-ups.
Option 3 might sound like this: “Jennifer, it’d be great for you to be on time when we meet again. When you show up late, I feel like you don’t value my time…. I’m meeting with a bunch of students today, and it throws everyone off. But I still like you! I just wanted to let you know how I felt.” Be sure to pause and let them feel a smidge uncomfortable.
(Use judgment! If they’re just totaled their car and they’re bleeding, or if there’s been some calamity, you can cut them some slack. If they overslept, see above.)
If you choose to let people know how you feel when they’ve violated one of your rules (in this case, punctuality), they will normally make adjustments. If they are tardy again, you need to amp up the message, making it more uncomfortable.
Punctuality is one example. Teach people how to treat you in other areas: turning in completed reports, returning calls, responding to texts—there are many ways to let new team members know what behavior you want. Feel free to comment! Can you give me other examples—Southwestern or not—where this would be useful?
Good stuff Lee! Setting proper boundaries and expectations with those around you is key to excellent time management and how people perceive you as a leader.
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Lee McCroskey Reply:
January 18th, 2012 at 4:22 pm
Well put, Dustin. The beginning of a business relationship establishes what is to come. Thanks for commenting!
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LOVE it! Thanks Lee!
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I like it Lee, honesty in a care-fronting way!
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Lee McCroskey Reply:
January 19th, 2012 at 12:18 pm
Thanks for visiting, Chris. It’s much easier to establish a relationship and do some rule-setting on the front end, rather than making interpersonal adjustments after getting upset because your rules were violated.
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Lee,
I think I remember attending that session when you taught it a couple of years ago, and I was just as impressed with the idea as I am now. It’s such a good idea to make sure people know your expectations up front than to try to passive-aggressively let them know your displeasure.
I still have trouble doing this, even though I know it’s important. How did you go from fearing the confrontation to embracing the awkwardness?
Thanks for the great insights!
Jaselyn
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Lee McCroskey Reply:
January 19th, 2012 at 4:07 pm
Great question, Jaselyn! I may use this as the basis for another blog on the subject. I don’t know if it gets much easier, but the pain of avoiding it early on–and its consequences–is greater than the moment of awkwardness. Generally, I just admitted my emotion associated with those uncomfortable moments. I may write a bit more on this. Thanks!
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That`s great, Lee.
This is so important. In SW we set up to meet with a lot of students who are not used to going to meetings on time all the time and once in a while there will be some late for a first meeting.
You can always tell how they respect the program and you by these small things – if they show up on time, how they correct themselves after not doing something like that.
I encourage myself to praise them on these things when they do them right and make it a big deal because they feel good about it and make sure they do it all the time so they can be “wordly awarded again.
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Really love it Lee. I`ve really wondered in the past how to handle it with my fy`s. How many times should they have been late to be ok for me to confront them, but the way you put it makes it really clear. Thanks. Keep it coming!
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