It’s the mantra of almost every top Southwestern salesperson out there. We’ve all been told that to reach our goals, we can’t make any excuses—we have to be unconditionally committed. But I AM unconditionally committed, you say. I don’t make excuses, but I still haven’t reached my goals. What gives? The answer is pretty simple: human beings are far too reasonable.

                Let me give you an example: let’s say you’re a student in the Southwestern Advantage summer program, and you have a goal of hitting President’s Club in personal sales. It’s 9:36 on Saturday night, and you’re one sale away from reaching your goal, but you have no good prospects in your area who have lights on. In fact, the closest prospect lives a ten-minute drive away, and they might not be up, either. After all, you didn’t set up an appointment with them. What do you do? The reasonable Southwestern salesperson looks at their watch and calls it a day. They didn’t hit their goal, but they had a good reason for not hitting it. I don’t want to make these people mad at me! That could give me really bad PR, and I might get kicked out of my turf. And they’ll probably buy if I stop in at a better time, but there’s no way they’ll buy if I wake them up. What else can I do? And they rationalize away their failure to hit their goal.

                That, my friends, it what it means to be reasonable. It means granting a good reason for failure permission to be a suitable substitute for success. Being reasonable is the number one cause of our failure to reach our true potential in work and in life.

                And there is a cure. But like most cures, it’s not pleasant—it’s not comfortable. If we really want to succeed, we must embrace the concept of being UNreasonable. To be UNreasonable is to refuse to let a good reason for failure prevent us from achieving success.

                So looking at our previous Southwestern example, we saw that the reasonable thing to do is to end the week, failing to hit our goal. What’s the UNreasonable course of action? Well, this is where it gets fun! There are lots of UNreasonable things we can do. One is to go knock on a dark door.  Another is to drive to that next prospect ten minutes away. They may not be up, but maybe their neighbors are. We could go to a new area of our Southwestern sales locality and find a family who’s awake. What about going to a convenience store and selling a set of books to the clerk on night shift? Or, we could plan ahead and make sure we have lots of late night appointments, so there’s always someone to go talk to after dark (the best choice!) The possibilities are endless!

                If you ever find yourself caught in a situation where the only way out seems to be reasonable, check yourself. Is the reason really valid? Are there any UNreasonable solutions you could try? And don’t forget to fall back on your emotional purpose: is the reason for failing to hit your goal really bigger than your desire to make your purpose a reality? If it’s not, then it’s time to get UNreasonable.

Kenny is engaging, warm, funny, self-deprecating and persistent.  He hi-fives his prospect (physical involvement), deflects questions about the price (the inquiry came during the “demo”), and closes repeatedly.  On the less admirable side, Kenny makes appeals to buying out of sympathy (a little) and not solely out of service. Yet on the positive side, he wears an ID badge!  Well done.  His entire approach/demo is performed (I chose that word carefully) at the door—quite the door demo!  Kenny does reference neighbors, but doesn’t use any names. 

Kenny says he is working to become a TV comedian, and his door to door selling is merely a “stepping stone” to greater fame and fortune.  What are your thoughts on his technique?  Would you consider him effective or off-putting?  Watch this 7:00 minute clip, and you decide whether this guy will make it big.  (Why didn’t anyone approach him for Southwestern?)

Here’s a principle of human nature that can be useful in these moments.  NLP shows us that questions are the answer.  When our brain hears a question, no matter how unthinkable, it automatically imagines an answer.  Try it for yourself — pick something you don’t think you can do, or do well.  Then, ask yourself this question: “What would it be like if I could do _________ really well?”  Example: “What would it be like if I could sell really well?”  Or “What would it be like if I were really bold when it came to building a team?”

Your brain automatically imagines what it would be like — it can’t help it.  It’s automatic.  And it moves your mind from the frozen position of “impossible” to one of, “what would it be like if…?” and that’s a much more resourceful state to be in.  Belief is a funny thing.  Our brain always looks for evidence to support our thoughts.  We must be careful what we think about our sales ability or our ability to build a Southwestern team.  When we make statements to ourselves, like “I could never sell like _________” (insert name of top producer), we tend to believe it.  To ask, “What would it be like if I could sell like ______?”  At once our brain shifts from “stuckness” to “unstuckness.”   We imagine answers rather than limits.

After you begin to imagine what it would be like if you did have that skill or ability, then it might be useful to ask, “And how would I do that?”  Hmmm.   More potential answers and useful thoughts!  You might decide to phone up that top producer and ask them how they do it.  You might ask to follow them on the field for a day and model their behavior and/or attitude.  You might ask them what they think about all day long and compare it to what you normally ponder.  Once you get unstuck with the “what would it be like if I…” question, you can switch to “how” questions.

You can use this rut-breaking question in all areas of life.  What would it be like if you could really be focused when you study?  What would it be like if you could play Call of Duty 3 really well?  How about the realm of dating: what would it be like if you were really confident about asking cool people out?  Think about it.  What works for you?  Send me a comment!  Southwestern is not the only context where this mental agility applies.

Before my first summer with Southwestern, my manager Jake trained me on the principle of self-talk. Self-talk is prevalent throughout the culture of Southwestern, and it’s a very simple idea. We all have a natural tendency as human beings to think negative thoughts: “This family will probably blow me off, too.” “They probably won’t need the books, either.” “Nobody in my turf has any money.” In a cold-calling sales job, the negative thoughts can get especially ugly: “Why are so many people telling me no? What’s wrong with me?” “I suck at this and I suck at life. I should just give up.”

If we don’t do something to control this kind of negative thinking, we end up hurting our sales and ourselves. The way we are taught in Southwestern to control this is with positive self-talk: saying positive words and phrases OUT LOUD. Why? Because it’s impossible to think something negative while at the same time saying something positive, and for some reason, our brain is more likely to believe something we say than something we think. (Positive action precedes positive thinking.)

But despite the major benefits of self-talk, few people actually use it. Many feel awkward talking to themselves in public, and others have tried but have found it to be unsuccessful. Surprisingly, the answer to both objections is the same.

Self conversation is the key to Southwestern sales success.

Here’s the key to making self-talk work: self-conversation. No, that doesn’t mean having a two-part conversation where you play both the lead and supporting actor (though you could, if that’s what floats your boat). It means not preaching to yourself, but actually believing what you say and simply explaining it to yourself. Let me give you an example.

My worst summer in sales, I used self-talk every single day. I said things like, “It works if I’m working, and I’m working, so it’ll work.” “I do everything right.” “People like me, they like my books, and they buy them.” Contrast that with my best summer, where I used self-conversation every day. I said things like, “It works if I’m working, and I’m working, so it’ll work.” “I do everything right.” “People like me, they like my books, and they buy them.”

Now, this is hard to convey via the written word, so bear with me and use your imagination. My tone of voice when uttering these phrases during my worst summer was often similar to the tone one hears from a father severely disciplining a delinquent child. The implication was, “Jaselyn, you’re so dumb, why do I have to remind you of this stuff? Quit trying and start doing, you idiot!” Other times it had a sense of desperation, as if by saying these words enough times, I could magically force people to start buying my books. The result was people uninterested in spending time with someone who didn’t even want to spend time with herself, and a frustratingly low volume of sales and high volume of cancellations.

The difference during my best summer was that rather than lecturing myself or pleading in desperation for a sale, I was simply stating a fact. I was simply reminding myself every now and then of how things are. And the strange part is I felt a lot less awkward saying the phrases. They seemed natural and normal because I believed what I was saying. As a result, every approach felt natural and relaxed, and I had a lot of fun with each family I met, whether they bought or not. But most of them did.

So how do you use self-talk effectively? By making it conversational and believing what you are saying.

So, for your own sake, use some positive self-conversation. Have fun with yourself and your customers, and keep those pesky negative thoughts away.

Also, feel free to share any of your favorite positive phrases in the comments section. Thanks for reading our Southwestern sales blog!

“Do you let the facts get in the way of a good story?

What do you do with people who disagree with you… do you call them names in order to shut them down?

Are you open to multiple points of view or you demand compliance and uniformity? [Bonus: Are you willing to walk away from a project or customer or employee who has values that don't match yours?]

Is it okay if someone else gets the credit?

How often are you able to change your position?

Do you have a goal that can be reached in multiple ways?

If someone else can get us there faster, are you willing to let them?

No textbook answers… It’s easy to get tripped up by these. In fact, most leaders I know do.”

So…how did you do?  Most of Seth’s questions revolve around ego.  Our ego is a big deal–our self-centeredness is readily apparent to other people.  Sadly, many leaders who need to experience a healthy “ego check” are blissfully unaware of their shortcomings.  They are happy to bend the truth a bit for a good story, or a good outcome–or a sale. 

Another question for salespeople: Can you let the sale go if it’s not in the best interest of the customer?  When I was selling, I sometimes let my competitiveness or my need to win (or my ego) get the best of me.  I convinced myself everyone should have my product–even if they weren’t great prospects. So with that mindset, sale made, but did I help someone who probably wasn’t going to use what I was selling?  No. 

If you can put other people’s needs before yours, it will go well for you.  At Southwestern, we call it a service-orientation: thinking of what you can do for them, not for yourself.  Hopefully, you picked up on this theme during Sales School training.  As Edwin Markham said, “There is a destiny among us that makes us brothers.  No one goes his way alone.  What we put into the lives of others, comes back into our own.”  Think: am I primarily self-centered , or am I other-centered?   If you’re not sure, ask a close friend you trust and who will be candid with you.

I confess my first few summers with Southwestern as a student manager, my focus was on myself.  I did not get “service-mindedness.”  Whether it was youthful immaturity or a heart set on self-gratification (or both), I don’t know.  What I do know is true leadership, as Stephen Covey defines it, seeks first to understand, then to be understood.  The focus is not on yourself, but on helping someone else.  These seven questions might help you become aware of some poor leadership traits you’ve developed.  Remember, awareness is half the battle in making positive changes in your life.  I welcome your comments!

If you attended Southwestern‘s Sales Schools recently, you may recall Nicholas Boothman sharing the idea that before a prospect buys anything, they have to buy you!  If they like you, prospects will look for opportunities to say “yes.”

To that end, Tom Hoobyar, NLP Master Practitioner and blogger, shares six good insights about becoming likeable:

1 – The biggest secret of popularity is to give your whole-hearted attention to the other person.

2 – The second biggest secret of being well liked is to forget yourself completely and become genuinely interested in other people.

3 – The third big secret of being popular with others is to learn to listen with everything you’ve got.

4 – The fourth big secret of popularity is not to be a know-it-all.  “I didn’t know that!” are magic words.

5 – The fifth big secret of being popular is to admit your mistakes, especially if someone has been hurt or inconvenienced. It’s good to apologize even when it’s not your fault.

6 – The sixth big secret is to say “Thank you” every chance you get.

Everybody cares about himself or herself, so as long as you make someone feel comfortable and interesting, you will be liked and accepted.  You can practice this with any other person; it just takes two of you.  If you’re on the bookfield, focus on getting Mrs. Jones to like you! 

Your likeability is the foundation for trust–one key to a Southwestern sale.

The first three suggestions listed above are attitudinal–they are habits; they are choices.  They take effort.  It’s easy to have a self-centered attitude.  It’s harder to be service-minded (see #6 above).  It’s easy to be negative.  It takes energy to remain positive and “other-oriented.”  What’s the payoff?  People will like you.  They will want to be around you.  They will want to buy from you.  Repeatedly. 

My first summer with Southwestern, I experienced success and failure to a degree depending on my mental choices.  When I entered a home with units/sales on my mind, more often than not, I did not sell.  Mrs. Jones came up with a variety of objections to throw my way.  Why?  I was attempting to sell her (my sales side) rather than serve her.  People want to interact with your human side first, then your sales side.  The human side–the likeable you–is the part of you they trust and will respond to. 

When you’re with a prospect, get them to like you!  Your human side is much more appealing than leading with your sales side.  Look them in the eye and smile!  Listen with everything you’ve got!  Be grateful for their time.  Let me know your thoughts on the subject of being well-liked.  Southwestern students and alumni, feel free to comment.

So it is with selling.  Your encounters, your closing victories, your frustrations, your close misses—all are subject to your own internal voice.  The voice which is always evaluating, judging, and commenting as you go through your day.  My first summer with Southwestern, I constantly found myself at the mercy of my own thoughts, so I eventually figured out that I could divide my thoughts into two categories:

Useful thoughts and Useless thoughts. 

I discovered my natural negativity.   Left to myself, my internal dialogue as a rookie with Southwestern was not uplifting:

“Do I like this?”  No.

“Am I good at selling?”  Not really.

“Do people out here like me?”  Apparently not.   Or better yet:

“I suck at selling.  This is not fun.  People out here are idiots….”

And so it went.  Consciously, I had to  replace useless thoughts and negative internal conversations with more helpful stuff, like:

“I can, I will, and I’m going to do well with Southwestern.”

“Something about today will help me 5 years from now.”

“Progress, not perfection.”

“This situation will make a great story someday…”.

“I will laugh about this one day, so why not laugh now?”

I had to say positive affirmations out loud or my mind would gravitate to the dark side.  I found by saying positive phrases aloud, my mind would paint a useful picture.  I would visualize what I wanted to happen rather than wallowing in negative images and thoughts.

Southwestern strategy for winning in sales: Entertain only those thoughts which build you up; trash the rest.

What thoughts help you feel confident?  What thoughts drain you?  You must control that 6″ terrain between your ears!  If this is your first summer with Southwestern, why not begin to monitor your thoughts?  Pretend to hook up a digital recorder to your brain, and begin to notice your recurring thoughts.  Are they useful or useless?  Do they build your confidence, or do your thoughts tear you down?  I welcome your comments—if you’re selling with Southwestern, share your best, most helpful thoughts/affirmations.

We just launched another 700 eager students this week–on their way to success and fortune!

Now, for those Southwestern dealers who are just getting started: prepare to struggle.  Someone once said, “A job worth doing is worth doing badly, at first.” So it is with learning to sell.  You may remember my Dirt Pile talk, and I thought a quick flashback might be instructive to our neophyte sellers:

Remember when you played sports?  Remember the workouts, the two-a-days, the weights, the wind sprints, the “no-breathers” (swimming), those end of practice “suicides”?  After your off-season, getting in shape was tough–remember?  What kept you going?

Somewhere in your brain you decided a couple things…

1) It is worth it.

2) I’ll get better.

You decided that the pain, fear, frustration, and upset-ness would decrease and your feeling of success would eventually increase.  During my first summer with Southwestern, I remember oftentimes leaving without a sale, and forcing some affirmations out of my mouth: “I can, I will, and I’m going to be successful at this!”  I affirmed, out loud, what I wanted to happen.

Now, think back to when you were just learning a new skill–like playing a musical instrument.  Were you great at first?  Ready for a recital?  No!  Your fingering was lousy, your scales sounded like you were using your fists.  Learning to play was slow and awkward.  So here’s a corollary: “A job worth doing, is also worth doing awkwardly, at first.” Essentially, we’ve given you just a few sales lessons and now you’re giving 20-minute recitals in Mrs. Jones’ home!  Ouch.  Awkward!

It’s OK to be frustrated–you can spend hours contemplating the decision to sell on your own personal “dirt pile”, but remember the helpful thoughts you had when you were getting in shape for sports or learning to play a new instrument: It is worth it.  I’ll get better. Your belief in your goal helped you persevere.  Your belief in your ability to improve helped you stick with it. 

So, if you’re new to selling, whether it’s Southwestern or retail or route sales, remember you’ll improve if you believe in yourself and the process.  Stick with it and guard your thoughts!

This is all captured on tape.  But as soon as the ornament breaks, my brother turns to the camera and screams, “Haley did it!”

The video pans to me in my footie pajamas, minding my own business on the floor.  Not being very productive, but definitely not dropping ornaments from 6 feet above.  For my 4 year old brother, his diversion of blame was quite clever, even cute.  But to divert blame as an in independent adult – not so cute.   A waste of energy, more like it.  

We, and we alone, are 100% responsible for our own lives.  (Remember that from Southwestern’s Sales School?)  We are the ones who should take the blame for the status of our grades, the quality of our relationships, the state of our health, our careers … everything!

And when it comes to selling, and specifically, to recruiting… every result, every output – is your responsibility.  Is everything that happens completely under your control?  Ha, we wish.  But how you respond to those circumstances absolutely is.  It’s not someone else’s’ responsibility to recruit a 10-man team for you, or collect a pool of hot prospects, or get you an A in Philosophy, or make you magically feel fulfilled in the process.   Nor is it anyone’s fault if you fail to do any of these things.  There’s no one coming to the rescue… but YOU.

And once we accept this responsibility, and hold ourselves accountable for every aspect of our lives – we can much more effectively create our experiences to be the way we want them to be.    Blaming “bad PR”, or “jerky people”, or crummy facilities – doesn’t do us one bit of good.   Instead, use that energy to pick up the pieces, and proactively work to create the results you want.    You know what you want to accomplish this year, and you know what it’s going to take to get you there.  Accept that it’s your responsibility to get there, and decided that you ARE going to get there, no matter what crazy stuff happens in between.  Thoughts?  Please comment!

As we were finishing, I provided a short (unrequested) sales seminar to my daughter, Katie, on how and why this particular waitress was getting a large tip. 

“Did you see how she treated us and how she interacted with us?”  (Katie rolled her eyes…).   I pointed out, “She:

1. greeted us with a smile
2. made great eye contact
3. introduced herself by name
4. got down eye level with us when she took our order
5. lightly touched me on the shoulder
6. delivered the right order
7. followed up with us from time to time
8. thanked us for the business”

What a great attitude!  What good rapport!   My daughter was bored with the mini-lecture, but she witnessed good salemanship in action.  We uncharacteristically ordered dessert.

So how are your sales interactions?  Do you greet prospects warmly with good eye contact and a genuine smile?  Do you let them know you care?  Do you use their names?  Do you deliver?  How’s your follow up and follow through?  What about team building/recruiting?  First impressions are just as important. 

If you’re recruiting a team of friends (highly recommended), you already have established rapport, but some student managers drop the ball when it comes to follow up.  Once their friend signs up, the student manager just assumes they are “with it.”  Following through and being thorough are probably the most important aspects of building a team. 

Have you had a great experience at one of your favorite eateries?  Or a horrible experience with a crappy waiter?  How was their “salesmanship” or lack thereof?  Comments and insights are always welcome.