Here’s a fun activity for your next Southwestern Advantage campus meeting: grab a friend and tell them that no matter what, they cannot smile. Next, sit across from them and smile. See how long they can last without smiling back. Most people last less than a minute before breaking into a grin. And all you did is smile at them!

            In the book “Social Intelligence,” psychologist Daniel Goleman, Ph. D. describes how the human brain is truly a social organism. When we see an emotion on someone else’s face, our own faces naturally begin to mimic that expression and we actually begin to internalize that emotion ourselves. That’s why we cry at sad movies, and why laughter can be contagious. Goleman calls this synchronization of emotion and expression between two people “rapport.”

            But wait—isn’t establishing rapport the first part of the introduction in the Southwestern Advantage sales cycle?

            It sure is! Students in the Southwestern Advantage summer program learn that the first step in making a sale is to find a connection with their prospect. So how can we use this idea of rapport as emotional synchronization to help improve our ability to connect with Mrs. Jones?

            It’s pretty simple, actually. Most of us are guilty, at some point or another, of assuming that just because we drop a few names, our current prospect feels connected to us. And then we end up confused when the prospect doesn’t buy our product! The problem is that simply telling Mrs. Jones who else has bought your books doesn’t establish any sort of emotional connection. All it does is let her know that you’ve been trained in sales. To truly establish rapport through using names, we need to emotionally connect with our prospects.

            The best way to do this is by telling stories about your customers that elicit a shared emotional response. For example, if you know that Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Smith both have kids on the soccer team, sharing a story with Mrs. Jones about how frustrated Mrs. Smith was with long practices on a school night can remind her of her own frustration. (But remember to be ethical: only share true stories!) Because you are now both sharing the emotional experience of long practices, Mrs. Jones begins to feel connected to you. You have successfully created “rapport.”

            So for those of you frustrated with your attempts to establish a connection with your prospects, try creating that emotional synchronization. Hey, you could even ask them to try as hard as they can not to smile…

            Aside from using names during the summer more effectively, how else could you use the “emotional synchronization” understanding of rapport, either while selling or recruiting? Feel free to share in the comments section below!

For more information on Daniel Goleman and Social Intelligence, visit danielgoleman.info, or pick up the book from your local library!

One aspect of rapport is discovering people’s preferred system of taking in information.  You can listen to what they say and the language they use.  You can also watch what they do–especially their eye movements–to determine whether they are visual, auditory, or physically-oriented.

Visual

If you ask a question and they look up, their preferred system is visual.  Your prospects relate to things they see, and they probably see and recall images well mentally.  They like the written word, colorful samples, videos.

Auditory

If your prospect glances to the side when you’re speaking with them, chances are their preferred sense is auditory.  In a sales situation, these type of prospects like to hear new information through spoken explanations, commentaries and presentations.

Physical

The final sensory system is physical.  Prospects who have a physical orientation look down to check their feelings.  They like to be “hands on.”  They enjoy doing things for themselves and trying things out.  Try to figure out how to involve them physically in the demo: let them figure the profit calculation, allow them to touch the samples, etc.

Once you know your presentation well, you can spend some mental energy focusing on these finer details of human interaction.  Start noticing people’s eye movements.   I’ll give you more NLP stuff in future blogs.  Stay tuned.  I welcome your comments!

He then proceeded to try to sell me something. 

Sigh.  I listened, always interested in various types of salesmanship.  It was ostensibly an offer he assumed I could not refuse.  A vacation package to check out their new resort.  Everything paid for, no time share presentation, etc.  I objected politely, with something like,  “You know, Bill, this isn’t something that really grabs me right now…I don’t think I’m interested.”

Insert scripted answer here; something like, “Well, the trip is free, and you and your wife will be at our 5-star resort compliments of us.”  Blah, blah.  I listened.  Still polite.

“I still don’t think this is something we’ll pursue, but thanks for calling.”  (That usually does the trick.)  Bill was persistent though: “I don’t understand–this is a great opportunity to take a trip, stay at our expense for 3 days, 2 nights, etc.”  Now this was irritating–I had given Bill the “terminal objection”–we’re not interested– following his little demo: and he was starting to argue about the value of his proposition.

I responded, less politely: “Well, if you must know, I’m travelled out–I’ve been on the road for the past two months nearly every weekend, and frankly, the idea of taking another trip is not appealing.”

Surely Bill would empathize and capitulate.  Nope.

He said, “I just don’t understand–you’re under no obligation.  Everything’s free…I just don’t get it.”  I just don’t get it?!  I’m pretty sure he was off-script at this point.  So was I.  I said, “Look, I’ve tried to be nice.  I’ve listened to your presentation, and I’m not interested.  That’s my prerogative as a prospect.  So at this point you’re just pissing me off.”  Blood pressure 140/85.

“I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t take advantage of–”.  I hung up.

So what are some takeaways?  Believe in your product.  Check.  Be persistent.  Check.   Answer objections.  Check.  But be sure to tune in to what your prospect is saying, how they’re saying it, with an acute awareness of how the interaction is going.  There is a big difference between answering an objection (influence) and arguing (manipulation).  Watch their facial expressions and body language.  If you’re on the phone, focus on their voice inflection–what’s their state?  If you’ve pressed a bit too much, back off!  Apologize for any overstep. 

Note: You will not sell anyone you are upsetting.  If they don’t like you, game over.  Move on. 

Thoughts?  Comments?  Experiences?

As we were finishing, I provided a short (unrequested) sales seminar to my daughter, Katie, on how and why this particular waitress was getting a large tip. 

“Did you see how she treated us and how she interacted with us?”  (Katie rolled her eyes…).   I pointed out, “She:

1. greeted us with a smile
2. made great eye contact
3. introduced herself by name
4. got down eye level with us when she took our order
5. lightly touched me on the shoulder
6. delivered the right order
7. followed up with us from time to time
8. thanked us for the business”

What a great attitude!  What good rapport!   My daughter was bored with the mini-lecture, but she witnessed good salemanship in action.  We uncharacteristically ordered dessert.

So how are your sales interactions?  Do you greet prospects warmly with good eye contact and a genuine smile?  Do you let them know you care?  Do you use their names?  Do you deliver?  How’s your follow up and follow through?  What about team building/recruiting?  First impressions are just as important. 

If you’re recruiting a team of friends (highly recommended), you already have established rapport, but some student managers drop the ball when it comes to follow up.  Once their friend signs up, the student manager just assumes they are “with it.”  Following through and being thorough are probably the most important aspects of building a team. 

Have you had a great experience at one of your favorite eateries?  Or a horrible experience with a crappy waiter?  How was their “salesmanship” or lack thereof?  Comments and insights are always welcome.

Lee McCroskey, Director of Training

Hey.  Lee again.  The Sales Trainer for The Southwestern Company…remember?

I’ve been discussing how to generate confidence in a sales setting.  As you recall, getting in a good, confident mental state is paramount, and you do that by 1) what you choose to focus on, and 2) what you do with your physiology.  Let’s talk about the second one. 

That’s right–your thoughts, your mood, your mental state–all are hard-wired into your physiology.  If you’ve attended our Southwestern Company Sales School, you remember we actually practice this concept.  I have the audience stand and for a moment, pretend to be absolutely confident.  As the trainer onstage, I see chins up, eyes bright and focused, feet apart, shoulders back, deep breathing.  The crowd assumes the posture of confidence. 

Then we pretend to be depressed: everyone looks down, shoulders droop, people shift their weight to one foot, and their breathing becomes shallower.  Again, as the sales trainer, I don’t have to issue body language commands-when I say, “Think sad thoughts,” the physiology follows naturally. 

OK, but what do you do with this?  

Before and during the sales call, you not only have to think the right thoughts, but also assume your best, most confident posture. You want your mind and your body to work together and create a great state-a peak state!  

Your customers begin to take in verbal and non-verbal information about you immediately-they make assumptions about you (and your business) in the first two seconds! 

So, before you pick up the phone or knock on that door, take a deep breath, put your shoulders back, look up-assume your posture of confidence.  Act confident!  Ponder for a moment: “How would I stand, walk, and speak if I were exceedingly confident-if I were unstoppable, if I were totally certain of my success?” 

Oh, and one important caveat–it really helps to have knowledge.  You can think great positive thoughts; you can compliment thoughts with a physiology of confidence, BUT you have to know what you’re doing.  Another secret of becoming confident in your sales ability is preparation.  As Samuel Johnson once said, “It generally happens that assurance keeps an even pace with ability.”  Use what I’ve suggested, but be sure you’re prepared.