“Do you let the facts get in the way of a good story?

What do you do with people who disagree with you… do you call them names in order to shut them down?

Are you open to multiple points of view or you demand compliance and uniformity? [Bonus: Are you willing to walk away from a project or customer or employee who has values that don't match yours?]

Is it okay if someone else gets the credit?

How often are you able to change your position?

Do you have a goal that can be reached in multiple ways?

If someone else can get us there faster, are you willing to let them?

No textbook answers… It’s easy to get tripped up by these. In fact, most leaders I know do.”

So…how did you do?  Most of Seth’s questions revolve around ego.  Our ego is a big deal–our self-centeredness is readily apparent to other people.  Sadly, many leaders who need to experience a healthy “ego check” are blissfully unaware of their shortcomings.  They are happy to bend the truth a bit for a good story, or a good outcome–or a sale. 

Another question for salespeople: Can you let the sale go if it’s not in the best interest of the customer?  When I was selling, I sometimes let my competitiveness or my need to win (or my ego) get the best of me.  I convinced myself everyone should have my product–even if they weren’t great prospects. So with that mindset, sale made, but did I help someone who probably wasn’t going to use what I was selling?  No. 

If you can put other people’s needs before yours, it will go well for you.  At Southwestern, we call it a service-orientation: thinking of what you can do for them, not for yourself.  Hopefully, you picked up on this theme during Sales School training.  As Edwin Markham said, “There is a destiny among us that makes us brothers.  No one goes his way alone.  What we put into the lives of others, comes back into our own.”  Think: am I primarily self-centered , or am I other-centered?   If you’re not sure, ask a close friend you trust and who will be candid with you.

I confess my first few summers with Southwestern as a student manager, my focus was on myself.  I did not get “service-mindedness.”  Whether it was youthful immaturity or a heart set on self-gratification (or both), I don’t know.  What I do know is true leadership, as Stephen Covey defines it, seeks first to understand, then to be understood.  The focus is not on yourself, but on helping someone else.  These seven questions might help you become aware of some poor leadership traits you’ve developed.  Remember, awareness is half the battle in making positive changes in your life.  I welcome your comments!

Tim Tebow was recently drafted in the first round to the Denver Broncos. A huge number of people from Denver fans to sports writers have been very vocal critics of picking a quarterback like Tebow who clearly has yet to develop the technical abilities normal required in the NFL. His biggest fan, Mark Rau, would tell you Tebow can take on the whole league blindfolded, with a 21 point handicap. Denver’s coach, Josh McDaniels, however defends his choice by stating Tebow has certain characteristics that simply can’t be taught – he’s super competitive, a natural leader, and has the ability to rally a team. McDaniels thinks these ‘intangibles’ are worth the first round pick, and the other pieces of the puzzle like throwing mechanics can be taught. 

SO, many college students wonder what will help them in the job market after college. The vast majority focus primarily on their technical abilities inside the classroom and traditional internships or jobs. Yet what are the vast majority of employers looking for in recent grads? In every information session for the Southwestern Company, I reference the study in Job Choices magazine where NACE surveyed companies asking for the #1 most desired trait in potential employees. The entire list is…..drum roll….. intangibles! The number one is communication skills. So the question begs to be asked, of the hundreds of thousands of college students looking for a top pick in the employment draft, who is going to garner the attention of the best teams(aka top employers)? Most likely those who have taken the time and effort to develop the intangibles such as communication skills, personal growth, personal motivation and leadership. 

The good news here is that all hope is not lost! While many feel the intangibles of an NFL quarterback cannot be learned, the intangibles of a great career CAN be learned at Southwestern.

Thanks, Patrick!  If you feel inclined, comment!  If you have a pertinent blog that you need to share, send it to me.

When I was selling with Southwestern Company as a college student, I learned to take emotional pain in stride.  One of my favorite affirmations was: “Something about today will help me become a better father, a better teacher, a better husband…”.  In other words, I was attempting to put frustrating circumstances into perspective–I was trying to reframe the situation.   I told myself, “Someday this will be funny–it’ll make a great story.”  (Some of you may remember The Dirt Pile story, as an example.) 

Most of us survived those sales ordeals, and the fact that we went through them made us better.  Think about it–most of the stuff you’ve been through by way of pain has had a refining element to it.  If you workout, you can relate to what I’m saying–you push yourself, you strain your muscles, you experience pain.  (During my workouts with the Masters Swim Team, I often wonder why I’m swimming at 52…).  When you’re finished, when the pain ends, you feel good, you look better, your resting heart rate is low, endorphins flood your body.  (In my case, you smell like Eau de Chlorine.)  When you compete and win, all the pain you went through is now minimized and in perspective.

And now to the world of music!  I was listening to Alanis Morissette the other day while driving.  If you’re a fan of hers, you can hear the pain and anger–especially in her earlier work.  Alanis has faced some life challenges, but has worked through them and is even thankful for the experience.  Check out the chorus of her song, “Thank U” :

thank you india
thank you terror
thank you disillusionment
thank you frailty
thank you consequence
thank you thank you silence

If you’re experiencing a tough period in your sales/recruiting career, be thankful!  What you’re experiencing is on purpose.  Pain is a teacher.  Difficult circumstances are the great Kiln of Life, and your “impurities” are being burned out–like dross.  Be thankful, instead of put out, by your circumstances.

Do you have a story or comment about the positive side of negative circumstances?  Share!

Have you ever met someone who was thankless?  Someone who feels life owes them?  (I can think of a few government entitlement programs at this point.  Or ever witnessed an unhappy tot screaming because their parents didn’t give them what they wanted?)  Lack of thankfulness is a huge obstacle to personal progress; Sullivan cites three:

1)  People who feel sorry for themselves.   These people see everyone who is getting ahead.  Other people have so much!  (“If I had the territory [insert top salesperson's name here] has, I could do well too!”)  These folks find it harder and harder to improve their situation.  They have no gratitude.

2)  Self-made people.  These people have done a great job working hard and creating their success, but they see all this as their own doing.  They forget who helped them get where they are.  (“Have you seen my latest sales award?”)  They have no gratitude.

3)  People “born on third base”.  Some people live in advantageous circumstances and take everything for granted.  As the saying goes, “they were born on third base and they think they’ve hit a triple.”  When things go wrong, when it starts going downhill, these people get upset because “life’s not fair”.   (“Someone’s to blame for this!  It’s not my fault!”)  They have no gratitude.

So how do we combat thanklessness and the negative emotions which ensue?  We must understand that value & meaning are internally generated.  Happiness and gratitude come from within. These states are a conscious act.  In other words, we have to practice being thankful.  Being thankful is not always a natural state of mind.

I heard once that the first sign of maturity in a young person is thankfulness.  So since my children were little, I’d help them say prayers at night when they were going to bed.  One of our first utterances has always been to talk to God about what we’re thankful for.    My hope was that this attitude of gratitude would sink in, and this would mold their character for the good.

So here’s an exercise for you at Thanksgiving time: make a list of everything you’re grateful for.  Your sales job, your health, your family, your friends, your country, the fact that you’re above ground!  Engage the family.  Have the kids make their own list.  Don’t know what to say during the blessing before the big meal?  Have people share their list!  It is an encouraging exercise, and it can help you and your loved ones turn the tide of thanklessness. 

What do you do to stay grateful?  Comment and share ideas.  Happy Thanksgiving from The Southwestern Company!

The players had varying reactions: some wept, some were angry, some sat stunned–all were disappointed.  Now the character of the team will be revealed.  Aside from trades, the draft, salary caps, etc., we will see how this cohesive team responds to big-time adversity.  As Coach Fisher said in the post-game interview, “Most of the players are in disbelief because we had goals all year that we planned to accomplish.  There was no question that we planned on winning it all.”

So, what do we do with adversity?  What happens when you blow a big sale?  when your potential recruit goes elsewhere?  when everything you’ve worked for goes awry? 

At the Southwestern Company, we’ve always taught students that it’s not important what happens to you, what is important is your response–your reaction.  I remember my third summer selling books which turned out to be a disaster: everything that could go wrong, went wrong.  My roommates quit, my sales locality (seemed to) suck, I was steadily decreasing in sales production, nothing was clicking.  My team was large…largely unproductive that is to say.  I had a mild car wreck to top things off.

Needless to say, when that summer ended, I was ready to throw in the towel.  (“Thanks, Southwestern!  I learned a lot, I grew a lot…now I’m outta here.”)  I was rationalizing and responding to my defeat in a negative way.  I had no intention of returning the following year for another dose of failure.  Thankfully, I had senior managers and mentors who were willing to listen to my frustrations and offer hope that things could be different next year.  After much processing, I decided to return. 

The good news is the next year was great!  I rebounded in sales, recruiting, and in my team production.  A happy ending to the dismal previous performance.  The problem was not the program–the problem was how I performed at it. 

So back to sports.  We’ll see how the Titans players respond to this major setback.  Can they rebound and learn from their experience?  Will they be willing to pay the price again to get as far as they did this year?  Or will they disintegrate as a team and become mediocre?  I hope not.  We’ll see how their collective character responds to adversity.