Here’s a fun activity for your next Southwestern Advantage campus meeting: grab a friend and tell them that no matter what, they cannot smile. Next, sit across from them and smile. See how long they can last without smiling back. Most people last less than a minute before breaking into a grin. And all you did is smile at them!

            In the book “Social Intelligence,” psychologist Daniel Goleman, Ph. D. describes how the human brain is truly a social organism. When we see an emotion on someone else’s face, our own faces naturally begin to mimic that expression and we actually begin to internalize that emotion ourselves. That’s why we cry at sad movies, and why laughter can be contagious. Goleman calls this synchronization of emotion and expression between two people “rapport.”

            But wait—isn’t establishing rapport the first part of the introduction in the Southwestern Advantage sales cycle?

            It sure is! Students in the Southwestern Advantage summer program learn that the first step in making a sale is to find a connection with their prospect. So how can we use this idea of rapport as emotional synchronization to help improve our ability to connect with Mrs. Jones?

            It’s pretty simple, actually. Most of us are guilty, at some point or another, of assuming that just because we drop a few names, our current prospect feels connected to us. And then we end up confused when the prospect doesn’t buy our product! The problem is that simply telling Mrs. Jones who else has bought your books doesn’t establish any sort of emotional connection. All it does is let her know that you’ve been trained in sales. To truly establish rapport through using names, we need to emotionally connect with our prospects.

            The best way to do this is by telling stories about your customers that elicit a shared emotional response. For example, if you know that Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Smith both have kids on the soccer team, sharing a story with Mrs. Jones about how frustrated Mrs. Smith was with long practices on a school night can remind her of her own frustration. (But remember to be ethical: only share true stories!) Because you are now both sharing the emotional experience of long practices, Mrs. Jones begins to feel connected to you. You have successfully created “rapport.”

            So for those of you frustrated with your attempts to establish a connection with your prospects, try creating that emotional synchronization. Hey, you could even ask them to try as hard as they can not to smile…

            Aside from using names during the summer more effectively, how else could you use the “emotional synchronization” understanding of rapport, either while selling or recruiting? Feel free to share in the comments section below!

For more information on Daniel Goleman and Social Intelligence, visit danielgoleman.info, or pick up the book from your local library!

• Peace of mind
• Love
• A sense of security
• Fear of loss
• Providing a good environment for their children 

Try asking feeling-oriented questions. 

All of these reasons are also feelings.  In the Southwestern introduction phase of the cycle of selling, try inserting a couple feeling-oriented questions: 

1. “Mrs. Jones, what is most important when it comes to your children and their education?”
2. “A lot of moms have told me that, by why is it important to you?” 

Ask these questions after you’ve established rapport.  To the first, prospects will likely give you “standard” answers—in the Southwestern example, she’ll probably say, “…to get a good job” or “…to help them prepare for a career.”  You want to dig deeper.  Question #2 does that.  In essence, you’re saying, “Thanks for the nice, generic answer, but really…can we talk?”  The first question opens up the topic; the follow up question goes deeper and is more personal.

If the prospect responds with a feeling level answer, you are getting somewhere.  “I didn’t finish school and it’s always bothered me.”  You have touched an emotional topic.  You can draw her out by asking, “Tell me more.”  If she responds with: “I’ve always felt the only thing that cost more than a good education is not having one.”  Hot button!  I would follow up with: “Wow, Mrs. Jones, that’s pretty profound—why do you feel that way?” Why questions help at this point. Get them talking and keep them talking.  NOTE: Learn to recognize an emotional topic when you hear it; a conversation can be emotional in nature yet be visibly unemotional, if that makes sense.  She will probably not burst into tears. 

If you have examples, please comment!  Remember, the more she discusses her situation, her children, her challenges, her feelings, the better.  With this new knowledge, you can better show how your product can help fill her needs—in the Southwestern example, her educational needs.

1. Desire for gain (usually financial)
2. Fear of loss (money, power, respect)
3. Comfort and/or convenience
4. Security and protection
5. Pride of ownership
6. Ego satisfaction 

Now think about recruiting people to Southwestern.  Which of the above emotional triggers do you employ?  Probably the first two play a big role in whether or not someone you know joins your team or not.  Think about it: desire for gain, in terms of money, personal growth, experience, resume, college credit—all play a big part of our offering. 

Now look at #2, fear of loss.  This may be key to your friend NOT joining Southwestern!  His or her friends or parents may be employing fear of losing money or respect against you.  (“I can’t believe you’re thinking of selling door-to-door!”)   How can you sell them on the desire for gain outweighing the fear of loss?  Perhaps you can even discuss how NOT selling books might hurt them later in a career interview by having nothing notable on their resume (fear of loss).  You could paint a picture of what it might be like without Southwestern experience to draw from in an interview setting. 

You could also sell #4—security and protection to your advantage.  Southwestern provides future security if they’re willing to suck it up now and work with you.  If they work with you now, their future ability to have a job and excel are almost guaranteed.  If your friend pays the price now, his/her earning potential and future career trajectory increase dramatically, leading to future comfort and options (see #3). 

There’s nothing manipulative about using these emotional triggers in making a sale.  It is simply a matter of understanding how people make decisions.  Customers will buy using emotion whether or not you sell this way or not.  You can bomb them with logic, but their emotional undercurrent is the guiding factor in their decision.

How can you use these emotional reasons more effectively in your presentations?  Are there new and different ways you can present your product or service?  Comments are welcome–even from non-Southwestern readers!  

Fear.

Fear of failure.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear of being ridiculed by friends.  Fear of selling.  Fear of making a bad decision.

Make no mistake: our Southwestern Internship program is not for everyone.  (Read that again.)  But, having said that, many students who attend an info session know the Southwestern Internship would be a great summer option.  What can we do to help students do what they know they want to do?

First off, we can’t get sidetracked by answering mini-objections one-by-one.  We need to address the core issue for students, and that’s fear.  You can spend a lot of time comparing this opportunity to another job, convincing them that summer school won’t set them apart, trying to show them that working for their uncle on the ranch isn’t their best option…in other words, you can work on them logically until they agree with you, and they still won’t join your team.

I remember one student I was attempting to close.  He was bright, a great guy.  What objection did he give me?  The profit margin objection!  He said, “I just wouldn’t feel right making 40% commission–that’s too big a markup on the product.”  I remembered he worked at Pizza Hut and asked him how much the ingredients cost to make a $15 pizza.  “A couple bucks,” he replied.  We looked at each other.  He swallowed.  Trapped.  Good news: I won the debate–his profit margin was much higher on the pizzas, and somehow he justified working there.  Bad news: he never sold with me. 

I won the battle and lost the war.

I didn’t address the underlying issue: fear.  I should’ve almost ignored his “moral” profit margin objection and talked with him about the real problem–his fear of failure.  Here are a few questions that should be running in your mental background as you attempt to sell someone on joining your team:

• what can I do to give this person confidence?
• what is their frame of reference? (eg., can I use a sports analogy?)
• how can I discover their unspoken fears/reluctance?
• what objection can I answer in advance?
• how can I help them emotionally realize this is best for them?

If we put time and energy dealing with their fears, we will help them and, as a bonus, they will work with us.  How do you build peoples’ confidence?  What do you share with them to deal with their fears?  I welcome your comments.

Mrs. Jones can hear a nice polished demo, she can see your product is good, but, does she need it?  No.  Does she want it?  Nope, not really.  

The sales presentation we use at Southwestern involves a great deal of logic.  Here are a few statements which will help overcome objections which deal the emotion that causes people to want your product.  I usually inserted one of more of these after I gave her the price.  They can be used as part of your demo, or to answer objections: 

“We can’t afford it.” 

“You know, Betty, it’s kinda like one mom told me.  She said, ‘Lee, There is no best time to buy anything because we always have bills.  And we spend money on all kinds of things—hundreds of dollars on appliances, like plasma TVs, xBox’s, iPhones…  A lot of the time, we don’t spend that much on good books or on educational software in comparison to what we spend on other things.’  Betty, a year from now when you look back on it, do you think you’d ever really miss the money you put into these?” 

Or… 

“One mom said, ‘We’ve spent hundreds of dollars on toys, video games, PS3 systems, …and the kids end up breaking them, losing them, or totally losing interest and they just lie around.  Getting something educational that will really make a difference in their future, that would be a worthwhile investment!’  Can you see why she felt that way?” 

And/or… 

“I was talking with one lady, and she said, ‘You know, I guess the only thing more expensive than a good education is no education at all.’  It seems like the people with the best educations get the best jobs.  Money spent on education now might seem like an expense at first, but when you think about it, it’s really an investment isn’t it?” 

Or how about— 

“One mom said, ‘Even if my kids just used them once or twice a week—just a little bit—it would be worth it because of all the times they asked me questions about their homework and I couldn’t help them.  Not a good feeling to have.  I just want to give them every opportunity to get ahead and to get better grades.’ That makes sense doesn’t it?” 

You see, if you want to get Mrs. Jones to a feeling level, you have to speak her language, remember?  We are not selling books to college students!  We are traveling to the Land of Parenthood, where they speak a little differently and respond to different things.  Try some of these phrases—with conviction!  Experiment.  Learn to tap in to selling with emotion and you’ll improve your sales.

The metaphor for CPR comes from my “Bringing Your Presentation A.L.I.V.E.”  disc on my 6 disc audio program “The Audience is NOT in their Underwear”.

The C stands for “Cut” open the wound. You do that by simply bringing up a pain point or a point of dissatisfaction for your prospect or audience. Simply bringing up a topic like this in your presentation will generate some emotion in your audience. If in sales you could say something like “has it ever happened to you where [your last product] failed on you?” Or as a speaker you could say “have you ever had [specific negative experience] happen to you?” Most presenters make it this far.

However, where the real magic happens is with P which stands for “Pour” salt on the wound. Pouring salt on the wound means that you allow your audience to focus on the pain and to an extent re-live whatever that negative experience was. This of course is critical as a presenter because it generates a wave of emotion and we know people don’t buy on logic; they buy on emotion – regardless of whether you are selling a product or an idea. The way you “pour” salt on the wound is by asking a feelings question like “how did that make you feel when [specific negative experience]?” Or ask the audience to tell you more or at least think in detail about that experience. Only the best of the best presenters and salespeople ever do this.

The R is the simplest part which stands for “Remedy” the pain. Most of us are fairly good at naturally explaining whatever our product or idea is and that is what you do hear. The reason why we don’t have better results from our communication is because we haven’t prepared our audience for this part yet. The difference is that now you have emotionally prepped them to receive your message which is critical in any communication process.

Rory Vaden, former Southwestern Company superstar,  has accomplished much since graduation: he was the 2007 World Champion of Speaking 1st Runner Up, he has authored two books, and co-founded Success Starts Now!, a top-tier sales training organization.