Go ahead…call me old fashioned.  You can even call me out of it and disconnected from the reality of life if you want, but here is the premise of this piece: A successful sales career is built on relationships! No, not the social networking “relationships” of My Space, linkedin, or Facebook, but from good old face to face, trust building, time consuming relationships. 

This past December, for the first time in my life I became socially networked. Yes, I am now on Facebook, LinkedIn, and about a dozen other imaginary places.  My wife sometimes laughs at me and asks, “How many ‘friends’ do you have?” or “Can I be your ‘friend?’” Her humor sometimes escapes me but her point is well taken.  The electronic networking that has become so prevalent in business today does have a place but will never take the place of developing friendships through personal interaction. You can share information digitally but it’s almost impossible to build trust and friendship over the internet. 

I asked one of my long term customers why he has hired me the very first time.  I was new at consulting and unproven in the work place. Why would he take the risk, invest the money, and give me a chance to help him go where he wanted to go? Certainly the product had to fit his needs. Obviously I needed to be eloquent in my presentation. But consultants are a dime a dozen….so why did he pick me?  His answer blew me away.  “It’s because you showed up.”  Doesn’t seem like a great reason to me, but it was enough for him. 

This man receives flyers, offers, and advertisements every day that suggest, in fact declare, that they (the consultant) can solve all his problems, cure cancer, end global warming and provide peace, tranquility and profit for centuries to come.  Seriously, have you ever seen or heard a salesman say they weren’t the best and just what the customer needed, especially today? (please sign right here, thank-you very much) The reality is that most of us have competitors that are competent. They have products…so do we.  They have advantages…so do we. They talk about service…so do we. The real difference in most sales situations is the sales person and the degree to which they actually connect with the prospect or customer.  The problem is that the electronic social networking that is so popular today does not really build connection.  Electronically, we share information (admittedly valuable) but there is limited connection.  Face to face we share emotions, stories, and information.  We build memories and trust.  It is these memories and this trust developed over time that grows into friendship and long term relationships. 

While in college I worked summers selling books door to door with The Southwestern Company. The toughest sales job I’ve ever had! It was also the job that taught me more about selling then any job I’ve held since. When someone would answer the door, I had roughly 30 seconds to build a relationship with that prospect.  If I could get them to see me as “Mike Weber, the college student” instead of “What’s-his-name-the-door-to-door, scum-of-the-earth salesman” then I not only got to give a demonstration but I was well on my way to making a sale. 

People buy because they need the product, but they don’t even hear about the product unless they like the salesman. So here is the bottom line.  Your job as a salesman is to build relationships. 

10 Tips for building long term relationships 

1) Remember it’s not about you

2) Ask them about their business

3) Do more listening than talking

4) Keep records-people forget paper doesn’t

5) Have a contact system

6) Share your life with them

7) Send note cards…people still like snail mail

Ask them to help you…referrals

9) Learn about their family

10) Remember it’s not about you

Mike Weber earned his B.S. degree from Cornell University.  For the past 25 years Mike has worked with over 500,000 students in New England, helping them to raise more than $1.5  million, to build and promote student activities with Great American Opportunities.  He sold 8 summers with Southwestern, was a top salesperson and top student manager, and was a District Sales Manager for 2 years.  Here’s his website:

www.youcanlead.com