Southwestern Company Sales Blog

It is incredibly common to hear people at self improvement seminars trying to discover their “strengths” and “weaknesses”.  Everyone–including Southwestern Company trainers–has their own philosophy on how to deal with these.  Some life coaches will tell you, “The key is turning your weaknesses into strengths!”   Others insist, “The only way to reach your potential is to focus on your strengths and find positions in life that minimize the impact of your weaknesses.  Focusing on your weaknesses is a waste of time!”  These are only two examples of a whole multitude of options on how to get to know yourself  better and improve as a person.  None of these are bad philosophies, and all of them have lots of good ideas to draw from.  The problem is that most people fail to recognize the difference between a specific skill that can be developed and a mental or emotional characteristic they would like to change in themselves.  The unfortunate reality is that it is far easier to get better at a specific skill than it is to completely shift the way your brain operates. 

            In reality we all have points in our lives when we are so on that our “weaknesses” are barely noticeable or are completely non-existent.  Our strengths are all that we see.  We are in the zone.  And then there are some points in our lives where we are just off.  At these times we have no discernable strengths and our weaknesses seem overpowering!  So trying to think through your weaknesses and fix them, or attempting to isolate your strengths and maximize them, can often times be a very frustrating endeavor.  When we are in the zone we feel like we have arrived!  “I did it!  I conquered my weaknesses!”  Then we later get in a funk and the logical conclusion we come to is, “I have accomplished nothing.  I really thought I was getting better this time!”  Instead of isolating what our strengths and weaknesses are, a far more productive exercise is to spend some time answering the following questions:

1)      What am I like when I am on?

2)      What am I like when I am off?

3)      What are my habits when I am on?

4)      What are my habits when I am off?

The first thing that happens after really spending time diving into this exercise is that you will begin to notice when you start to be “off” and will no longer continue to think thoughts that go something like, “There I go again.  I always do that!”  The biggest obstacle most people face in living the life they want to live is taking ownership of their “weaknesses”.  People think that the things they dislike about themselves are somehow hardwired into their DNA.  That isn’t you!  That is you when you are off.  This is empowering because it allows you to take a step back and think through questions 3 and 4.  What have I been doing recently?  What have I not been doing?  For me personally, if I work out first thing in the morning and read a motivational book before breakfast, it is going to be a great day!  If my thoughts are primarily focused on others or focused on long term goals then I am loving life.  I absolutely love my job if I am spending most of my time in front of people, truly listening, and learning new things from every person I meet.  If I am spending a ton of mental energy focused on trivial problems or manifesting negative situations in my mind that “may” unfold; I am irritable, easily frustrated, and generally don’t enjoy life.  This is true in both my career and family life.  This knowledge is power.

      So catch yourself.  Notice when you are starting to slip.  However, it takes more than simply catching yourself in a destructive pattern.  You have to take immediate action!  Get back to the habits that lead to the best version of you.  Go do the things that give you confidence and lead to you loving life.  This seems obvious, and yet the truth about human existence is that it takes much less effort to be neutral or negative than it takes to be positive and optimistic.  But it is worth it.  Life is more fun and more rewarding.  It is all about your habits. 

The reality is that you are always in habit patterns whether good or bad.  If you wake up every morning and decide whether or not to exercise, it is tough!  You are in the habit of indecision.  If you just wake up and do it every single morning for 3 weeks, it will be hardwired into you.  You don’t even think about it.  It is like this in all of your habits.  This is not just about what you do with your mornings.  You are constantly forming habits at work, with your family, with your friends, and with your own thoughts.  So form good ones!  If you struggle in forming these habits in any area, get an accountability partner.  Find some way to hold yourself accountable.  Do whatever it takes.  The key is, DO IT!  Stop procrastinating. Stop saying that you will form good habits next week.  Don’t wait until it becomes convenient.  There is nothing more important than you being the best version of yourself.  It impacts everything.  So what could me more important than forming the habits that lead to this?  Anything that is worth doing in life is bound to be challenging.  However, if you will stop banging your head against the wall trying to determine why you can never get rid of personality trait x, and instead really hone in on the habits that make you great, the battle you will be fighting will at least lead more directly to living life the way you want to live it!

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